alone i break

As she arrives my body fells less like my own. I don´t know why this is happening again after so long, but you who help me embrace my two sides, who help bring peace to my world that was in a haze of oblivion. You, the only one to whom I have told the truth about "him", you are missing. And for better or for worse I´m left here to face all this without the first soul like mine I´ve met. This might be my last words in this world for I´m not sure when I´m going to wake up again. I´m sorry to tell you this a little to late but as they say "better late than never". no matter where you are, no mater when you read this, you will know it´s for you.

New Beggining

At last I take contol of the mess that "he " caused. Sorry to all of you who dont understand what I am, but that is better left alone. No more explanations of what I´m doing. The freedom I taste right now is the swetest thing I´ve tasted and I won´t let it go, so deal with this new being that walks around you because I´m not going back.

T.N.T. Death Metal

My inspiration is gone, my whole being is screaming cuz I let u go. Half of me is howling for you. The other half happy because you found someone that cares about you. life is kicking my ass but I wont let myself down. As for you, I´m going to keep waiting for my oportunity and this time I won´t make the same mistake. It feels cold, this pain but still i must go on, for every bad choice I took, I have to make it right.

FUCK

story 2

The sun was shining the next morning when steve woke up. He had a headache because of the drinks he had last nite. As he put hte alkazetzer in a glass of water he started to remember the night before, he could only remember that his friends introduce him to the 3 girls that where in a table near a corner, he tried to remember their nams but only remember one. He didn´t know why but the only name he remember was the name of the beautiful girl he met before he saw his friends, her name was Katherine. After drinking the alkazetzer steve went to wash his face to the bathroom. As he was filling his hand with water he saw some numbers in black ink in his left hand. He froze for a second, thinking about katherine, wandering if that was her phone number. He stoped the water and read the writings in his hand, it was definatly a phone number but when he read the name closely it wasn´t katherin´s, it was some other girl´s name. He started to remember what had happend last night.
-"Hey steve why don´t you hang out with us for a while?" asked Albert.
-"I don´t know al, didn´t you have a date tonite?" aswerd Steve.
-"Look at the table near the corner steve" said Albert.
As steve turned to look at the table he saw three girls . Two of them he didn´t look familiar, but the third one was the girl he saw when he was sitting in the bar.
-"It looks like ur doble date got change into a triple date." said Matt smiling.
-"What do you mean?" aked Steve.
-"I mean that our dates brought a friend and since your here why not go out with them" answered Matt.
-"I don´t know guys i was just drinking some beers and going home, i´m not even well dressed" said Steve.
-"Come on steve, do it for us" said Albert.
-"Ok, but you owe me one" told them Steve.
Steve finished his beer and with albert and matt went to the table where the girls where. Steve sudenly heard the phone, he got to the phone and answered it.
-"Hello?" said Steve.
-"Steve-o, how are you today?" somebody answered from the other end of the phone.
-"Not so loud ryan, i have a hang over." said Steve.
-"Oh, sorry man, so what did you do last night?" asked Ryan.
-"I don´t remember much just htat i went to the bar we usually go to. There i met up with matt and albert who had a dobble date, from them on i still don´t remember." Steve told him.
-"I see, well i was just checking upon you. Talk to you tomorrow for next weeks birthday party." said Ryan.
-"Ok ryan, bye." said Steve.
After hanging up the phone, steve went back to his bed to lay down and try to remember what else happend last night.
to be continued....

story 1

He was sitting at the bar drinking a cold beer thinking how to get his life back on track. Out of no where he felt the door of the bar open and turned around to see who was going in or out. A few seconds past before he realized that he was staring at the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He just turned around and started thinking how to get near her and meet her, while he was lost in his head there was a voice right behind him:
-"Can i get a beer?" he heard her ask.
He turnd around again to find her there smiling at him then he looked into her eyes and was lost in that sea. He didn´t notice whene she left, he was still lost in there, those eyes that were like the ocean deep and dark. After a couple of minutes he finaly woke from his trance and tried to find her in the bar. after only 2 seconds he found her again with 2 women that he thought were her friends. So he left her alone but couldn´t keep his head from thinking about her. He suddenly heard a voice call:
-"Steve!".
When he looked he found his friends there all nice and groomed. He whent to meet them half way to the exit.
-" Hey man long time no see." said Albert.
-"Yeah dude, where have you been?" asked Matt.
-" Hey guys how is it going? what are you doing out here tonite?" asked Steve.
-" We got a doble date with some chicks who told us to meet them here" Said matt.
-"Nice!" answerd Steve.
Albert searched the bar with his eye to find thier dates. in 1 second he realized they where 3 of them insted of two wich meesed his plans on taking his date home tonite. then he got a great idea.
-"Hey steve what are you going to do tonite?" asked Albert.
-"Nothing. Why?" said Steve.
-"Why don't you hang out with us for a while?" answerd Albert.
to be continued...

The moon is in my favor, i feel calm and happy. But there is something that worries me and that is the fact that "he" has been too quiet for a long time, i don´t like this "calm before the storm" shit. I still don´t know how much time is left before i´m gone but i´ll try my besto to keep him locked up for as long as i can.

no long before my time is up. He´s growing stronger bit by bit and soon he´ll take over me. But i´m not scare because no matter what my essence will stil be there, if i fall under his control i don´t know what could happen so please forgive me if i harm you in any way because it may not be me.

No more of this bullshit, I´m tired of you and still you keep coming up again fighting me, trying to stay out of the prision i made inside this mind we share. i don´t hate you but i don´t like you either. Please keep quiet in those times of happynes i get. I promes you will be free from your prision but only when the people around me understands what you are, so please don´t hate me.

zeitgeist

nice guy no more!

Fuck the nice guy that´s always there for everyone and keeps quiet what he wants. No more of that sweet guy who talks to everybody and takes all thier crap, i´m tired of being like that, one of this days somebody is going to get hurt because that person they tought they knew is no longer there. I´m about to take him to a dark mountain and shoot him. so don´t expect me to be the same person that i was from now on. I´m going to speak my mind and whoever doesn´t like it can go to hell!!

hijo de la luna- heavy

corazon de mimbre- marea

quieto parao, no te arrimes, ya son demasiados abriles
para tu amanecer desbocao, mejor que me olvides,
yo me quedo aquí a tender mi pena al sol
en la cuerda de tender desolación,
luego empezaré a coser tequieros en un papel
y a barrer el querer con los pelos de un pincel..

y en cuanto acabó de zurcir las heridas de
las noches mal dormidas llegué yo
y le llené de flores el jergón para los dos,
sin espinas, de colores, que se rieguen
cuando llore y cuando no, las sulfatamos
con nuestro sudor,
y me confesó, cuando quieras arrancamos que
en las líneas de la mano lo leyó,
que se acabó el que la quemara el sol,
pero se asustó, ¡como te retumba el pecho!,
tranqui, solo es mi maltrecho corazón,
que se encabrita cuando oye tu voz,

¿qué coño le pasara que ya no sale a volar ?
¿tal vez le mojó las plumas el relente de la luna?
le volvió loca el sonío de las gotas de rocío
cuando empieza a clarear y aún no se ha dormío

y me enamoró, aunque era un hada alada y
yo seguía siendo nada no importó,
eramos parte del mismo colchón
hasta que juró,"nos querremos mas que nadie
pa que no corra ni el aire entre tu y yo",
sentí que me iba faltando el calor,

le hizo un trato al colchón, con su espuma se forró
el corazón, que anoche era de piedra y al alba era
de mimbre que se dobla antes que partirse...

amaneció, la vi irse sonriendo, con lo puesto,
por la puerta del balcón, el pelo al viento
diciendome adiós, porque decidió que ya
estaba hasta las tetas de poetas de bragueta y revolcón,
de trovadores de contenedor.

Death

What a horrible nightmare, me being killed by a bullet on the right side of my head. Don´t know what it means but i don´t feel so bad now when i think about it, actualy to be calm after a dream like that is the thing that scares me. I feel like i´m embracing death, not just as a part of life but like a normal thing that anyone can do. Now that i acept death i can keep on going in the way of those grim reapers that take the life of those they want to.

Que dificil es sentir lo que siento por alguien que ni cuenta se da lo que siento por ella saber que me muero por esos ojos esos labios y ese lindo corazon

serching

Lost in my world of shadows i search for the light that are your eyes. Hoping to get close to you and breath the same air you breath, because my own light is fading and i feel the darkness consuming my essence. I pray that you keep those eyes open so i have a way to go to you and see you again. I cant help but to keep searching for you in the little time thats left before i am no longer the happy guy everybody once knew and become that grim reaper that scares everyone in their nightmares.

Leave

Who do you think you are?? Talking about whats right and whats not. In the beggining let it slide because i saw something in you i´ve never seen before, but now you´re making me angry with all that carp! I wont take this anymore, i´m going to my happy place to forget the things you´ve done, so please leave now before i change my mind. Don´t worry i´ll be ok, but i can´t say the same for you if you stay near me. Go find someone else to mess with and leve me alone.

addiction

I try not to think about the complex things that suround my life every day, i try to relax, to be "normal" but i´ve come to a conclusion that every one is hiding something that they know society would not accept. People create their own addictions not only to drugs, alcohol, cegarettes, sex and tv. People create needs that have to be met in order to keep going in their lifes. yet if someone who has problems tries to get help everyone marks him/her as a freak or somebody that should not be around anyone. What are we to the people that think they´re "normal"? no one has the right to lablel a person just because of how the live their life, even more they should be congratulated for not falling under the control of society. I CONGRATULATE THOSE WHO LIVE THEIR LIFE TO THE BEST THEY CAN WITH NO REGRETS!. And for those who think they´re "normal" i tell them to get over those addictions and become what they have always wanted to be.

voces

Fucking voices inside my head won´t let me sleep in peace, waking me up in the middle of the night for no good reason. Still i try to erase them from my mind, to forget them and sleep in peace. Someone help me to rest!!

life

Going crazy because of this fucking duality, can´t be myself infront of my "friends" and family because they wouldn´t understan me. Hoping that time goes faster for all of those dull moments that i spend alone. I cant belive that i have fucked up so many times that i´m in this situation, because of what other people want or wanted in the past, why can´t they let me make my own choices and my own mistakes? Let me live my own fucking live so that if i do or don´t do something is in my head the remorse of that choice, and not live thinking "what could have happend if i did that?" because somebody else made that decision for me. LET ME LIVE MY LIFE!!!!

trapped

Always looking for a way out of this misery, finding that all the doors are locked and every window is close shut. I feel so trapped in my own head, can´t find anyone like me to talk to, to ask for help or at least not to be alone anymore. How can everyone live as if nothing is wrong when their dying inside? i´m done with this trap that are my own thoughts, Fuck the simplistic world that we live in, i´m tired of it. Is there anyone who feels the same? or am i to keep living all alone inside my head still trapped?

the arms of sorrow

Esta es una de mis canciones favoritas de Killswitch Engage

The Arms Of Sorrow

Imprisoned inside this mind
Hiding behind the empty smiles
So simple (the anguish)
As it haunts me
Crawling back into the dark

Running, always running, into the distance
Stop me before I bleed, again
The echoes of my voice
Follow me down
The shadows I cast
Follow me down

Deeper I'm falling
Into the arms of sorrow
Blindly descending
Into the arms of sorrow

There must be serenity

The echoes of my voice
Follow me down
The shadows I cast
Follow me down

Deeper I'm falling
Into the arms of sorrow
Blindly descending
Into the arms of sorrow

The demon of my own design
This horror must not remain

Deeper I'm falling
Into the arms of sorrow
Blindly descending
Into the arms of sorrow

There must be serenity

There must be deliverance

Deeper I'm falling

Blindly descending

FUCK

i don´t know how to get away from all this shit that goes on inside my head, people talking about dissapointment, how i let them down, that i don´t do anything all day long and that i should be more responsible on the thing i do. i only have two words for all of those people that like to talk about other people and don´t look at themselfs, those two words are "FUCK OFF", leave people to make their own mistakes. if they do something wrong or they get bad grades its on them and they don´t need anyone to remind them of that. FUCK all the people that are not happy just living their own life that they have to mess with other people´s lifes. don´t know how many will read this but for those who do plaese let me know if you feel the same way.

Dark And Cold Nights

every nite i go to my bed but i can´t sleep, no matter what i do i can´t find a way to calm myself and sleep. i see figures in every corner, hear voices that are not there, i know is al in my head but still i feel like some one is watching me. what am i suposse to do?? i dont have anyone to talk to nor any one who wants to listen, i feel so alone, if only someone knew the real me i would feel better. and yet i feel scare that if someone knew this side of me, the dark and cold side of me, they would run away. still i wait for that someone that understans me and accepts everithing i am, still i wait through the dark cold nights

la primera entrada

este es mi primer blog y la primera entrada del mismo. No soy muy bueno escribiendo y espero que pueda mantener este blog al dia con las cosas e intereses propios. Empesare hablando sobre mi, soy una persona algo tímida a quien le gusta estar con sus amigos y hablar de todo tipo de cosas, también soy algo polifacetico pues en un momento puedo estar feliz pero al siguiente puedo no estarlo. Mi vida ha estado llena de momentos tanto buenos como malos, felices como tristes, creo que eso es normal para todo el mundo pero si me ven en alguno de esos momentos no creerían que estoy alterado o deprimido pues mis sentimientos siempre los mantengo dentro de mi. Esa es una de las razones por las cuales hoy estoy aquí escribiendo en este blog, para intentar sacar todas estas emociones y sentimientos que llevo dentro.