Divided

Divided between what I want and what i should do. I should stop thinking about you and saying things without knowing the situation your going through. But still I want to be part of that journey everybody calls life. Blaming only myself for being such a stupid coward as to not say anything when I had the chance. I keep dreaming of what could have been, and just waiting to see if I get another chance to say those things. The saddest thing is that I keep waiting even to see if you left even one word in this stupid thing, but for me even one word is worth waiting.

the situation

Lost inside my head, looking for a light but it seams everything i say or do turns around to hurt me. I don´t know how to express myself anymore, all those dear to me are thinking twice before talking to me. What is the meaning of my existance if every body that knows the real me leave to a place where I can´t contact them. this is my darkest hour and only those who only see my exterior are surrounding me, I feel like I´m in a bubble isolated from everyon. Don´t know how to get throu this but this situation has to change. so the only thing I can do is wait for anyone who wants to help.

As she arrives my body fells less like my own. I don´t know why this is happening again after so long, but you who help me embrace my two sides, who help bring peace to my world that was in a haze of oblivion. You, the only one to whom I have told the truth about "him", you are missing. And for better or for worse I´m left here to face all this without the first soul like mine I´ve met. This might be my last words in this world for I´m not sure when I´m going to wake up again. I´m sorry to tell you this a little to late but as they say "better late than never". no matter where you are, no mater when you read this, you will know it´s for you.